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...can I populate a chat that she just has to hit 'enter' to send at least to sync up our quest information semi-manually?
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Yes, you are able to put a text into the chat edit field and she just needs to press return (twice if she is not already in the chat mode) then.
Your addon could use a string conatining information in a compressed way and if she sends this link the addon at your side would be able to read the data coming from this string again.